How to Forgive Yourself
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My tween daughter: (looking in the mirror) sighs: I’m ugly.
Me: (while also remembering how my mom and I did this same song and dance): sighs: You are not. You are so not. I wish I could have back all of the wasted hours, days, months, years I wasted worrying about this. Think of the things I could have done! And the stupidest part is, [pointing to a photo depicting a younger self] I look at these photos, and my god. Why did I waste so much time chasing something I already had?
This can happen, and then in the next minute, I will look and still see all of the “flaws” I have wasted years and years trying to fix. I will recognize full well that someone could take my picture right this second, and I will be saying the same thing ten years from now. I look back to the mirror. Where is the disconnect? What will my eyes in ten years see that my eyes now can’t?
Guess what? I don’t need special glasses. I need to learn how to forgive myself, and I am guessing you do too.
Here’s what worked for me*
Picture your ego (you know that piece of you ? That you are supposed to outsmart like you are going to go head-to-head with the oracle in the city of Thebes. But don’t think of it like that.)
